Mitigating f***ing Circumstances

I’m sat here,  with my coveted glass of wine,  trying to think of a good way of structuring this.  My friend who also blogs asks me if I have a plan…a PLAN!? God no.

I think I might just jump about a bit for now.  I’m currently in a fantastically complicated situation so LET’S START WITH THAT.

(I think I’m writing in short paragraphs and with intermittent caps because of my current mood…one of frustration,  mild depression, extreme cynicism,  loneliness and anxiety.)

Let’s get this shite typed then.  Here goes.

So I’m currently seeing an American, and have been since November.  November 1st infact.
Yes…I remember the date.
No,  I’m not a high maintenance, anniversary keeping, day, hour, minute counting sod but YES this relationship has been important.  It’s been different.  It’s been earth shattering in more ways than one so YES I remember our first date.
The issue is,  I also remember the date on which I found out he has (note present tense) a lass in London with whom he doth shag. With whom he exchanges raunchy letters.  From whom he has received photographs… mit suspenders and silk.

I write this in a mildly comical manner because really,  I can but laugh.  Isn’t it just ruddy typical that,  when I finally meet someone who appears perfect in EVERY way (I’m not even exaggerating), there just happens to be one, large, never to be forgotten, negative.

Just for clarification.

What do I do?  Keep dating the guy.
I tell myself that I know a bad relationship when I see one,  which is true,  and that this isn’t one.  I tell myself that their must be a way around this,  that perhaps I can be open minded,  that we hadn’t had the ‘exclusive-or-not’ conversation and….the list of excuses I gave him goes on.  Don’t get me wrong I let him know he hurt me big time but well,  I’m still here.  I have been preaching my whole dating life about who I wouldn’t be with and at the top of the list?  Someone who sleeps around.

It’s simple really (or was);
If men want to sleep with someone else?  They obviously don’t want you anymore,  so fuck em.  They don’t need you,  fine.  Good riddance.  Their loss.

This advice I have dolled out to MANY a friend in need.  Do I follow it? HELL NO!
What do I do?

….convince myself he has what can only be described as mitigating. fucking. circumstances.



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